Avoiding risk by not making a decision is still a decision. No decision is a decision. It is deciding to not live moment-by-moment in order to side step fear. When I face my fears I can move through them and grow from them.
Look at the Source of Fears
Instead of running away from important decisions, I choose to look at the source of my fears. Am I experiencing fear of failure or fear of loss? Why do I feel like avoiding a decision? Have I faced a similar decision in the past? If so, how did it turn out? If that situation did not end well, how can I change myself or the opportunity so it can have a positive impact?
Face the Uncertainty
If I cannot determine the answers to these questions, then I need to face the uncertainty. I can choose to look at the uncertain outcome as an opportunity. I can choose to release myself from the false belief that it is my defect if I do not know the outcome beforehand. Instead, this uncertainty can contribute to my emotional growth. I can learn from the potential mistakes or victories ahead.
No Need to Know
I do not need to know what every outcome will be in life. I only need to make my choice and the rest will unfold. Will that lead to pain? It can. Pain is inevitable in life. I cause others pain by my actions and I am the recipient of pain due to my actions and the actions of others upon me. That is a normal part of life. The difference is I can decide not to suffer. Suffering really is optional.
Reverse Negative Thinking
Instead of suffering, I can choose to reverse the negative ways of thinking that lead to suffering. No problem will last forever. The pain will pass. I only have to allow myself the experience of grief and then to move on. I can find courage to deal with the pain by sharing my experience with others, a mentor or accountability partner. The pain does not leave overnight. But it cannot pass until I allow change to happen and start the process of grieving. It is my response to pain that helps me to grow into an emotionally mature and responsible person.
Look for Opportunities to Change
So when I am facing my fears, and the potential for pain, I look for opportunities to change. I ask myself two questions:
What can I learn from this situation or decision?
How can I change to respond in a positive way to the outcome?
When I meditate on these questions, I learn a valuable lesson about myself. I learn to grow and respond to others in love despite the pain they may have caused. I learn that when I make a decision that I did not want to face, that the outcome can be positive even when a loss happens.
Questions to Ponder on No Decision is a Decision
How do you deal with a decision you do not want to face?
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(Pain and fear can be difficult emotions to handle. Sometimes a situation can be overwhelming and talking to mentors or friends does not seem to help. If you find yourself unable to deal with a painful situation, please seek professional help.)